To Run & To Belong

Kimberly Penharlow (right) on a training run in Central Park.

Blog post written by leadership coach, marathoner, and Craftsbury running camper Kimberly Penharlow. Kimberly will be one of the coaches at this summer’s Women’s Running Weekend in Craftsbury.

In 2018 I ran my first marathon – New York City.  Go big or go home, right? Even though my longest run ever was 14 miles; I set what some called a crazy dream. I wanted to run a sub 4:00:00 marathon and have fun. I ran a 3:57:1, and for 26.2 miles I ran, stopped for photos with my friends, and waved my hands to the bands along the route. It was a blast! As the sleek finisher’s medal hung around my neck, I began to own my newest titles - endurance athlete and marathoner.

Reflecting on my journey to the 2019 New York City Marathon (NYCM), the work of psychologist William Glasser resonated with me. Glassers' Choice Theory says we are motivated by a never-ending quest to satisfy 5 basic human needs: to love and belong, to be powerful, to be free, to have fun and to survive. As a second-time marathoner, I made three important decisions to shift from running to racing the NYCM that connect to some of my basic human needs.

Be powerful and express my dream:  I set my sights on racing a 3:30:00 at NYCM. The many looks of surprise and skepticism didn't deter me from my dream. At that moment, I truly didn't care as I was choosing to be powerful in body and mind. My power appeared everywhere I shared my dream; from my social media to my vision board to my visualization exercises. As 2017 NYCM First Place finisher Shalane Flanagan said, "Don't be afraid to dream of achieving the impossible."

To love and belong: My commitment to running was made at a time when many aspects of my life – love, work, and home were radically changing and my very sense of belonging was tossed up into the air. Through joining and training with the Team for Kids, Brooklyn Track Club (BKTC) and Nike Project Moonshot Running (MS); I redefined what belonging meant.  To my surprise, my running community became an anchor to my feeling of belonging. When I joined my teammates at practice three times a week this summer, I knew I was going to a place where I belonged and within myself. I felt powerful in my body. Finding that place in this crazy and relentless city is not easy.

 This summer I attended the Craftsbury All-Comers Running Camp, my third running camp at Craftsbury Outdoor Center. In a short week, I was reminded how much fun it is to be surrounded by other runners. It is exhilarating (and humbling) to do a hill work out when the cows are out-running you (yes, that happened to me). It's rare to share a week with strangers, to become friends and to only feel love. Love for each others' dreams, journeys and for simply being amazing humans who happen to also run. My heart was full when I left and I was worried about what would happen when I wasn't lacing up with them. My fears were quelled when Heidi created our 'All-Comers Camp accountability email' thread.  Every time I read a new message from one of my fellow campers, it's like a six-course feast of love for each other. We celebrate each other's running and life achievements.

Dining hall feasts and antics at All Comers Running Camp.

To survive: Some marathon training lessons aren't fun but they are critical. Learning to respect the recovery run was the most critical lesson for me to learn. Every coach stresses the importance of this. I love running fast - slowing down to recover went against all my instincts.  I knew not honoring the recovery run increased my risk of injury (again). I had to make a change. As a native Vermonter, trails, and trees have always been a place where I slow down, relax and breath deeper. It was time to find that in NYC and off I went to the spectacular bridle path in Central Park. The bridle path was my place to quiet my mind, relax my body and respect my recovery run. In the words of Heidi Caldwell, "Make your hard days hard and your easy days easy." Check. I finally got it.

The running community has changed my life and will continue to for years to come. And, yes, I smoked my 2019 NYCM at 3:33:26. And in that sea of over 50,000 NYC marathoners, I saw two Craftsbury alums and was texting another. That is belonging.

Kimberly at mile 25 of the 2019 New York City Marathon.